Category: Self Improvement

The Ultimate Flex

Posted on by beau6303

Showing off your money and achievements is a timeless thing. People have always been drawn to the fun and hard-to-resist habit of comparing ourselves and showing off what we’ve got. We’re always trying to keep up with those around us, constantly watching others’ successes and seeing how they stack up against our own. Social media has really made this even more intense, since now we’re seeing a much bigger picture. With just a quick look, we can see the best parts of people’s lives. Plus, we can peek behind the scenes of the super rich and famous, which we never could before.

We might not even realize we’re doing it— comparing ourselves to others. I’ve personally noticed this unhealthy habit over the past couple of years. So, a few years ago, I decided to limit each social site to 30 minutes or less per week. It’s just enough time to check notifications, find local events, or shop on local marketplaces. And, of course, a little bit of scrolling, since I’m human. But, to be honest, I almost find it repulsive to scroll now. It’s like, wow, this is silly!

Guess what? My social media detox actually turned out to be a fantastic mental health boost! It was so empowering to step back and not be constantly worried about what others think or say about everything.

As I went through this social media cleanup, I noticed something fascinating: how we, as a society, show off. “Flexing” is just another way to say “flaunting.” And it seems our flexing and comparing really shape how we act.

So, what does showing off usually mean to us? I’d say it often comes down to wanting others to see us as successful, wealthy and happy.

It’s a bit disappointing when the things we show off don’t always truly represent what we’re trying to highlight. Consider those $80k cars, $50k home renovations, $50k weddings, and $10k vacations—they might not always actually mean wealth, success, or happiness. But in places like the United States, we’re often taught that these things are the signs of success.

It’s not to say that a brand new car doesn’t bring some excitement, or that an expensive wedding or vacation doesn’t create memories that last a lifetime.

So, the real question is: could we experience the same joy, excitement, and memories without spending so much? Or are we just trying to measure ourselves against what we see others have, thinking that’s what we need? It’s worth wondering how much of what we feel about what we need or want is really our own, and how much is shaped by what we see others doing. That’s a thought-provoking question.

To help answer that, I’ve often thought about an interesting social experiment. Play along with me for a second and let your imagination wonder.

Imagine you’re heading to the store tomorrow, and you start spotting people wearing black shirts with white numbers and letters on them. As you get closer, you notice they’re all in the same style. After a few, you realize they’re all balance sheets, with “net worth” at the bottom followed by numbers. It’s a bit strange, you think.

Then, over the next week, you start seeing more of these. It’s like they’re everywhere! You see balance sheet memes popping up on social media. After a quick search, you realize this is a new trend. It’s a way to show off your net worth. Those with very low or negative numbers are probably feeling a bit embarrassed by their numbers and can’t seem to find a date. Just a few weeks prior, their lifestyle was super valuable in the social pecking order with their fancy car and lavish life. Now, all the attention seems to be on those with big net worth numbers. Suddenly, the person driving a 15-year-old Camry is the “it person.”

In this wild situation, think about how quickly everyone’s actions would shift all over the world.

Imagine if folks with substantial bank accounts started to see their social standing and online presence grow. YouTube videos about being frugal would explode in popularity, DIY projects would become the norm, and buying things without thinking would be seen as unappealing. New businesses would spring up, all geared towards saving money and investing more. Suddenly, driving a $100,000 car might not be the ultimate status symbol anymore. The notion of living beyond one’s means and believing you can always afford it would likely disappear. What we value would definitely change.

Would we be happier?

It really shows how much of what we see and do is shaped by the comparison trap. It would be a fascinating social experiment to see how this plays out, while also keeping track of happiness levels over time.

I suppose a blend of both approaches is a happy medium. But the lines can and do easily blur. I constantly evaluate big purchases. Is this a need? A want? Will it bring lasting value and joy or is it a certain level of ridiculousness that will offer but a quick dopamine hit, followed by a plunge back down to consumer purgatory?

Over the past 16-17 years, I’ve often pondered what motivated my own actions. It seems like it all came down to what I considered the cooler thing. Was it wearing a big cowboy hat and playing the part, or a more understated cowboy hat with a herd of cattle and tons of land? I never wanted to be just a show-off without any real substance or resources. Or as they say in Texas, “all hat and no cattle.” Ultimately, who and what I valued shaped my actions, and it just so happened that my values were quite different from what most people valued.

What would your t shirt say?

6 Month Check In

Posted on by beau6303

Time to take stock and see what’s what for 2025 so far. With half the year over, it’s as good time as any to check your progress and make sure you are still headed in the right direction for whatever your goals are.

For the year I’ve retained $20,151.25 of free cash flow. From this free cash I’ve purchased $15,566.00 in stocks and transferred $4,000 to a High Yield Savings Account.

On top of the free cash flow that has been allocated, $12,842.00 in pre tax money has gone into the 401k through my employer. So a total retained earnings of $32,993.00 so far for the year.

No debt has been added.

As far as the more balanced approach I’ve been taking to life and money, I’d say that has been going really good. I’m like over 2 years into this new Beau and it’s been interesting to say the least. I find myself having more time for me, friends and family. Which has been pretty cool. Still no regrets for the many years of grinding, but it’s sure nice to take my foot off the gas!

I have been consistently spending what I like to call “just because” money. Sometimes when I do my monthly numbers I find myself kinda shocked how much I spent on stupid random shit.

And when I feel like my work-life balance is out of whack, I will take a few weeks off from any extra shifts and just relax. I usually take overtime only when it’s convenient and decline when it isn’t. I’ve used sick days rather than pushing through like I would have in the past. So long story short, it’s been good.

I’m 39, and next month I will turn 40. I started investing when I was the ripe age of 22. I remember going to the Meryl Lynch in Stuart, FL. to open my first IRA account. They declined my money because I didn’t have enough assets. I understood at the time. No hard feelings. But the advisor there told me that I’d have a million dollars by retirement if I started that young and kept at it. I remember thinking that’s kinda crazy and probably not feasible. Well, I’m happy to the report that the million dollar mark has been hit at 39. Needless to say, a celebratory cocktail was had. It should be noted this is just money invested in stocks. Doesn’t include real estate equity or cash.

No special formula or secrets to offer, sorry. Just had a lot of luck, kept my living expenses super cheap and Invested aggressively and consistently. And the rest took care of itself.

Our capital markets are incredible here in the U.S. and we have some of the best companies in the world that are constantly working to increase value for not only their shareholders but their customers. I simply bought into that idea with full confidence.

Hope the year is going good! Maybe next time I write I’ll be the owner of a new Lexus 😬. Keep embracing the grind. Go Dolphins! 🐬

The Ultimate Wealth Score

Posted on by beau6303

Let’s face it. We all like to see how we stack up to those around us. It’s natural. It’s all part of the evolution of our species and a great way to learn and grow. There are some great things that can come from this. And also some bad. Depending on how the information is processed and used. If it leads to envy and jealousy it’s probably counter productive. If it leads to adjustments and change for the better, it can be highly productive.

When the topic is personal finance, which are such a taboo subject like religion and politics, most people are left in the dark when it comes to any level of comparative analysis. I view this as a very negative thing. If people knew how far behind the averages they were, it could encourage them to make necessary adjustments to ensure their later years are not destined for poverty and a diminished quality of life. Unfortunately we have no idea where we stand usually. Nor do we even know a valuable metric to use as an instrument for said comparison.

I hear people say things all the time that lack context and or relevance. For example, a statement like “oh he’s rich he or she has 10 million of assets.” This lacks so many needed inputs to assess someone’s wealth. Like, gee um what are the liabilities maybe? Or how much do they spend annually? Quite feasibly you can have 10 million of assets with 9 million of debt, be spending more than you are bringing in annually and be on your way to bankruptcy. Real talk.

It would be so useful if we had sort of a universal wealth metric. So we all know where we stand. This could be so beneficial to those with low score to make the necessary improvements and for those with great score to be able to take their collective foot off the proverbial financial gas pedal and learn to enjoy what they have accumulated. So the score can benefit everyone. It’s all about context and perspective. Two eye opening and powerful words.

So, I have formulated a metric that I use personally called my wealth score. I use it to compare myself to others of course. But mostly I use it to ensure I don’t fool myself into thinking I’m doing better than I actually am. After all if you can’t be honest with yourself then well, you’re probably screwed. People fool themselves all the time. Without knowing or realizing it they tell themselves financial lies. They transfer money to a savings account month yet run cash flow deficits bc they don’t keep track of their total spending or they contribute to a 401k but spend more then they bring in, so their savings rate is actually negative. They are growing their assets but growing their debt even faster. These are all examples of the lies we tell ourselves when it comes to money. It should come as no surprise that people feel they are treading water financially. We need to keep score.

What we need is the best tool to see where we are. One that takes into account all the relevant metrics. Assets, liabilities and cash flow. But also a metric that strips out the unnecessary fluff metrics such as your primary residence and frequent flyer miles for example. We have to get to the brass tax of what you need to know. Without further ado, here it is:

net investable assets/total spending

If this number is above 25, I’d say you are entering the financially well off level of personal finance. So what does all this mean? As I usually do, I will use my own financials to illustrate the usefulness of this score a little later. I like to look at what could be used to invest to create passive income. Obviously, my primary house would do nothing, my frequent flyer miles or American Express points would do nothing either. Vehicles would also be excluded. Although if you had one or more “secondary” vehicles that could be sold and invested, this should be potentially counted. These are all great assets, and I count them on a balance sheet as such. But if I want to create passive income, they are useless. Hopefully the difference is clear. It’s an important distinction.

For me, for the net invested assets portion of this formula I count only the equity for investment real estate, net stocks which factor in lines of credit against them, and cash. All these assets are net invested capital. So for example if I had 350k of stocks and a line of credit borrowed against them of 50k, I’d factor 300k.

Next is the spending. This is the tricky part of this formula. As I’ve mentioned in prior posts, knowing your spending is incredibly useful, yet almost nobody does it. It’s tedious to keep track of. Years ago you’d have to have spreadsheets and keep receipts. These days it’s easier. You can simply link your accounts to software and it tracks it for you. I do both. I’m extra. If one fails I have backups. The important thing is to capture all your spending. Every penny. Not just your bills. How much does your life cost essentially. Notice that I don’t factor in any personal loans or credit card balances into this formula. These would be captured in a balance sheet of course. For the purpose of this wealth score however, it would be captured in your expenses in the sense of what you pay for your required statement bill. But only what’s required. Not any extra you choose to put towards servicing the debt.

This score is in my opinion the best at capturing your situation as it is. Only what’s necessary. Stripping out the rest. My score is 49

1,484,583 / 30,114.13=49.299

Not bad. my goal is to improve this figure going forward. Which means I have to essentially grow net assets much faster than I’m growing my spending or lifestyle. And that my friends is as they say, the brass tax of it. What is your wealth score? Happy holidays and happy calculating.

Fall In Love With The Process

Posted on by beau6303

I recently watched Jerry Seinfeld give the commencement speech at Duke University. Amidst the humor and lightheartedness he said something I thought was brilliant. I immediately wrote it down. I always enjoy things like that. Things that cause you to pause and reflect immediately. He said:

“don’t think about having, think about becoming.”

I loved it immediately. And for so many reasons. I truly believe you must become obsessed with perfecting and enjoying the process. The results should work themselves out at some point. I like to think I embody this approach. Sure, I often fantasize about the results and what they will look like down the road. And that’s always fun. But I always try to just slow down and focus on perfecting the process. And frankly I’ve begun to enjoy it.

I know with every 1% improvement I’m becoming better. It’s a slow process no doubt. Like polishing a huge rock down to small tiny beautiful sculpture. But if you forget about what the little finished product will look like and just enjoy the polishing process, you begin to view every setback, disappointment or mistake as just another opportunity for growth and improvement.

To achieve growth, I think you have to be brutal in assessing your own past. I’ve heard from people my whole life that I’m my own worst critic. And that’s definitely true. And as mentally exhausting as that can be, it’s also the part that drives me, and brings me some joy. And I think deep down it’s because I know I’m becoming that version of myself I always wanted to be.

However, when I look around I see people obsessed with having. With social media comes the ability to constantly compare what we have to others. Keyword here is “have.” Nobody posts on social media the boring “becoming” part. The hard work, the mistakes or the persistence that’s required for most levels of success. That’s not sexy at all. Our society doesn’t care about that part. This shallow emphasis on “having” can create an entitlement and laziness that becomes embedded in our psyche. And this shapes behavior in a hugely negative way.

When I read biographies, I’m most interested in the becoming part. I like the “in the trenches” aspect of stories. The building. I think in some ways we all do. When you watch the famous movie Rudy, you wouldn’t have enjoyed the ending as much had you not watched the becoming part.

So slow down a bit. Allow fantasies to swell in your mind about what you’d love to have or who you’d love to be. It’s healthy and normal. But put your real energy into the becoming part. Personally I think you’ll have a lot more fun, and enjoy the journey more. And the result will be much more satisfying later.